Go and Marry !!!- Dami Adeniyi

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“Hello Damilola, How are you doing ?”
“Fine sir”, I said. It was a family member I had not heard from in a long time. 
“Eh hen, you remember so and so? “
“Oh yes! How is she doing? It has been a while”
“She is fine, please dont take this the wrong way. I am not in anyway putting any pressure on you”. at this point I already knew where the conversation was going. I had been down this road too many times with family and friends. And by the way, I knew I was going to be offended when I heard “Don’t take it the wrong way.”
He continued, ” What is the age difference between you guys again?” 
A bit offended, I mumbled, ” I can’t remember”
“She got married today”, he replied
“Oh ok thats  good for her, God bless her home”, I responded 

*Dead silence*  I think he could hear my frustration. 

As if that is not enough, I still get the occassional “Why are you single?” and “I hope you are using God’s standards and not your own standards”. Especially now that a prophesy has come forth from RCCG General Overseer, Pastor E.A Adeboye and a few other pastors, the pressure has gotten to the next level of realness. 

Like, is my case really that hopeless that I am constantly reminded that I am single. In some cases I cannot be seen with a guy without getting the winks and the question, “Is he 

the one?” While I am aware that I am above the reccommended age of marriage in the African culture. I think it is important for mummies, daddies, aunties, uncles and other well wishers to know that over beating the topic and comparing me to other people does not provide a husband. It just makes things unnecessariy uncomfortable. 

Please don’t get me wrong! I want to get married, I might actually be getting married very soon. Infact, my friends/bridesmaids (shoutout to those on my prexisting whataspp/facebook group) and my videographer already know this and are currently on standby, ready to move.  They are just waiting the arrival of the significant other and the go ahead from me. You never know, I might even already have a date set. I have just seen so many people rush into things and get married for the wrong reason and are seperated or considering divorce at a young age.

​This is not to say that people that get married early have troubled marriages, I actually know a couple of earlier marriages that are doing well. My point is that what works for A might not work for B. There is a addage in my language that translates to ” Don’t work with another’s watch” simply saying, all our journeys are different and advising not to compare ourselves to the next person. 

My prayer is that I get married once and it will be a glorious marriage. So friends and family that should be your prayer for me too. You can help bring this dream to reality by actually praying for me and not just saying  “I’ll be praying for you”, and God will do the rest.

Hugs and Kisses 

​Dami Adeniyi 

**Please feel free to comment and share your “go and marry” stories below***

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No Comments
  1. Dumebi says

    Yessss…..

    1. Dami Adeniyi says

      Thank you Dumebi!! I’m glad you like the post ?

  2. Temi-Dayo says

    Girl you nailed this topic on the head☺. Very well written. I don’t even think there should be one age bracket for ‘right age to marry’ as everyone’s time is different and cultural norms doesn’t necessarily always connote spiritual understanding. Some african ladies don’t even want to get married and would be uncomfortable when they hear such comments from folks everytime. Love this writeup dear.

    1. Dami Adeniyi says

      hmm you raised an important point there, “what if she doesn’t want to get married?”. I tried saying that out of frustration let just say it didn’t got to well. Thanks for your feedback. Don’t forget to share

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